Our Essence is who we are.

Updated: Apr 27, 2018

I felt compelled to write this following a Live Conversation with the community of Back Yourself Mentoring. The Conversation topic was entitled “Create Your Personal Mission Statement”. We ended up taking a step back to discuss how to identify our Core Values and what they really mean to our whole lives.



I love the word “Essence”. When I say it now, I feel in every fibre of me warm, juicy, sweet, colourful and unique! I didn’t connect with it the first time my coach used the word. Now it sings to me.


Essence and core values are one of the same.

I have been thinking and talking about core values since I identified mine last year. I discovered my core values late in life. I believe we instinctly know what they may be. Identifying them and genuinely understanding the importance of them to our lives, are two very different things.


I have moments of frustration that no-one told me about how important they are!! Why the secret?? In my experience unfortunately it isn’t valued by schools, universities, sports groups or religions in Ireland and the UK. These are the places that form us when we are growing up. They are where we could start to experiment with them, relate to them, start to understand ourselves.


And while I may be baffled by this, I also think that I wasn’t ready for them, not really. I feel that my time is now. I am choosing now what life I want to lead, who I want to be, how I want to show up, how I spend my time and with whom. And for this I need to relish in my Essence.





Our Essence is unique to every single one of us. It is what makes us unique. It is who we are in our very core, it is how we show up each day, it is the style and qualities that naturally exist in our soul.


We bring our core qualities and values to every moment when we are true to ourselves. They are the reason we behave in a certain way, feel certain reactions, choose the relationships, jobs and interests - when we am aware of them.


They are how we approach our life

How do you identify your Essence, or your core values? It takes time, now I realise that. I did an exercise last year during a retreat. I struggled somewhat to reduce the list from my top ten to three. I know others struggled with striking off family, love or kindness. They are the aspects of life important to me. How I show up to myself, my family, my work, my relationships and my passions is my Essence.


Our Essence does not change - what we prioritise in life may change.

If like me you are now revelling in this knowledge and its significance - I invite you to talk about it with your friends. Experiment with different decisions, write them down, journal your day and what your Essence or core values means to you. Then you can start our person mission statement.


We share with all the women in our community a "Do you know your Core Values" document when they join. Drop me a line and I can send it to you.


While the exercise invites you to choose - you don't choose your Essence.


You are your unique, colourful, sweet, juicy, warm Essence.


Have fun exploring your Essence!


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